sex & / relationship therapy
hello, I’m Bima loxley (they/them)
I am a queer qualified Clinical Sexologist and Relationship Therapist who provides therapy for individuals, couples, multiple partnered relationships, groups and families.
Sex is relational, but relationships don’t have to be sexual.
Some of my Specialities:
Sex: Desire & Arousal, Sexuality, Sexual Health, Sexual Function & Pain, Low-Esteem
Relationships: intimacy, infidelity, life changes, relationship MOT & maintenance, communication, family struggles
Diversity: LGBTQIA+, Kink, Non-Monogamy, Sex Work
Click TO LEARN MORE
How Therapy works
Our sessions together will be in the form of talking therapy (online over Zoom video - the image of my office to the left is what you’ll see on screen).
I will never ask you to undress in session and any set homework will be done out of the session with yourself or with a consenting partner(s).
Therapy is a great place to go when you’re aware that you may need some additional help. Luckily for you, the first step to helping yourself has already been taken; you’re here on this site! I am fully aware of what therapy can bring up for some folk, for example, feelings of anxiety, shame, vulnerability and possibly even excitement, so I will always make sure that the therapeutic space that I provide feels collaborative, reflexive and open minded, whilst also challenging enough to create the change you desire.
I work to the confidentiality and ethical standards set by COSRT. Any complaints you have can be directed to myself or to COSRT.
Coming to therapy requires work, but it is rewarding work that is full of passion and compassion. We will usually have weekly sessions of 50 minutes, or possibly longer if you wish, but in some weeks I may set tasks to do at home and this is where the work begins. I am here to guide you and give you the tools you need, but you will be the one choosing to use them.
I work integratively, which means I work with you and tailor fit our therapy to you and what you best need. I am a diversity-inclusive therapist who works with all clients regardless of race, gender, sexuality, age (18+), or disability. My practice revolves around naming and acknowledging societal discrepancies, bigotries & systems of oppression, as well as challenging the dominant discourses that affect us all. You can find me on the NUM directory for Sex Worker friendly therapists, for example. I am white and I am slim; I am queer and I am neurodivergent. Intersectionality matters to me.
I am UK based, but am insured to work online world-wide, except the USA and Canada.
If you would like to know more about me you can read my Specialties section or the About Me section where I explain my limitations or you can even Contact Me to ask.
is therapy right for you?
Choosing a therapist is like dating, we’re not always going to find our perfect match straight away, so we have to try a few out before we commit. This is why I offer a 15-minute free consultation; to get to know each other, to see if we’re the right fit, and to see if sex & relationship therapy is what you want. You may find that if you’re suffering from severe anxiety or depression that goes beyond my psychosexual and relational approach, I may refer you on.
If the consultation goes well, or if you choose not to have one at all, we can then book an initial session. First sessions are a bit more formal and are used for information gathering about yourself. We will discuss the therapy agreement; figure out your goals and expectations of therapy; have a look into your history and how you relate with others and assess if you have any trauma or medical conditions that need addressing first.
After we decide whether to continue with sessions or not, we can then book in a regular, 50-minute spot for your therapy, which will be open-ended. If you’re having relationship therapy, we may decide that you would prefer to have one individual session each, so I can get to know you all a little more in a separate space, before then continuining as a group. We can also book in a single session that is more solution focussed for you if long term therapy isn’t an option.
Some of you may already have another therapist and this can be OK, especially if you’re talking about topics that do not relate to sex & relationships. Bring it up with me when we meet, so we can discuss if having two therapists at once is appropriate and right for us both and we can go from there.
Registered Member of COSRT